They say insanity is doing the same thing multiple times and expecting different results.
And yet, computers, devices of pure logic, are proving to me that insanity kind of works.

Introduction to programming is very low end, simple things. I'm basically relearning shit I learnt in highscool, but it's good because it's been a few years since highschool.
However, having attempted a solution to a simple syntax error and getting a different syntax error was starting to get on my nerves, eventually calling the teacher-guy over and asking him what's up with this, at which point he dd the same thing I attempted, but it worked.

This seems to be a pattern, given this one time in highschool;
I got a second videocard, put it in my computer and the entire thing died.
Of course, my first thought was to remove the new videocard and test, and it still did nothing.
I spent two weeks fucking around with it to no avail, eventually having to give the PC to professionals to see what they can make of it.
After two more weeks of being computerless, the professionals called me to say there was nothing they could do, the entire computer is fucked, every test they ran showed the whole machine was dead.
At which point, I got it back and complained to my friend who happened to be over at the time.
He pulls out the second videocard and turns it on.
At which point, the computer booted without issue, as if nothing had ever been wrong.
WHAT?!
Computers work of a binary decision making system, either yes or no, for it to give different feedback for the same action is something that bothers me.

But consider insanity in the real world. Have you ever heard of a story of someone bothering someone over and over until they do something?
"Wash up your dishes"
"No"
"Wash up your dishes"
"Fiiiiiine..."
Which makes me think that insanity is the right way to go.

Of course, the washing the dishes example is flawed as we can't account for humans.
In the same way we can't account for human error.


Basically, if anyone tells you that you're insane, chances are that just means you're good at getting shit done.
i'm procrastinating at university currently and decided to write this. I'm trying over and over to read these lecture slides, expecting at some point to get the result of actually reading them :P

Scattagories

Although the name of a board game (I think?) this post is actually nothing about the game (that may or may not exist?).
People, or rather I, categorise everything.
These categories can dictate how I feel about something right off the bat.
People always say to not judge a book by it's cover, but evolutionarily speaking, it's how humans have survived long enough to become the dominant species on Earth.

Everyone and everything can fit into categories, usually under a single defining term. Each term has similarities and each term can be judged upfront.
If I see somebody wearing a cap backwards, or to the side, straight away I know they can fit a certain number of categories, if their pants are low, that narrows it down more. If they're wearing a top that is referencing a sports team, narrower. If that team isn't local, narrower. And so on until a single glance can tell you everything you need to know about a person.
Sure, there are a lot of variables, so nothing is certain when it comes to categorising people, but you can very easily determine the one thing that really matters with general social interaction; Is this person worth my time?
Typically, the answer is no. Not because I'm a snob, but simply because I hate people. I hate everyone I meet. Literally.
Obviously, this isn't a permanent state (Because I would be very lonely), and obviously people like my family are exempt from the rule given extraordinary circumstances.

The trick is finding people who you don't hate very much about.
The harder trick is finding people who can accept you for your downfalls too.

There was a purpose and direction to this post, but I thought of it when I was on the train, so I lost said train of thought after leaving the actual train. For the same reason that people enter a room and forget why they entered it.
(This is completely off topic)
People's minds form associations, if I'm sitting at my computer and decide I could use a cup of tea, I will take my cup to the kitchen and sometimes, I will forget why I was in the kitchen. It happens to everyone, and research has shown it's because people tend to form associations with everything down to the room around them.
I might associate the cup with coffee, but sometimes my mind will skip a step and associate it with sitting at the computer, thus I won't remember why I entered the kitchen again until I return back to my start position.
The human mind is fucking weird.

Where was I?
Categories and association, yeah, that was it.
This is why it bothers me, because not everyone is like this, some people don't like to lock down something with a category. Some people will love the title of "metalhead", whereas others who fit all the criteria to fit that 'social genre' will fight to not be called it.
For someone like me who needs to categorise, it bothers me that others don't. I don't even know why at the moment.

THIS IS A TERRIBLE POST AND IT SHOULD FEEL BAD BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE NOBODY ACTUALLY READS THIS BLOG ANYWAY.

On a mental scale of 1-10, 1 being depressed enough that a train passing the station seems like an escape route from consciousness, to 10 being unstoppable smiling at the mere thought of everything, I can only write blog posts when I'm at about a 3 or a 4. Which is slightly above cutting myself.
I've been at a 2 for the last month. And for the 6 months prior, I was jumping between a 2 and a 9.
So if there is anyone that actually reads this and is interested in the psychological theory I post, I'll continue it eventually.
Just gotta get over this downturn including;
Eviction from a house I just moved to
Family member at death's door
Unshakable illness that interrupts every other aspect of my life
Stress of starting at university and not being able to keep up
Telling my (now ex) girlfriend that I loved her, resulting in her breaking up with me (The former caused the latter)
Same aforementioned female going out of her way to re-establish my trust issues and my inadequacy complex that I've spent the last 5 years working on rectifying
AND SO ON AND SO FOURTH

It's not been a good month, kids.